Low-maintenance friends

I had coffee with a good friend today. We haven’t talked or visited in a long time and we were way over due for a catch up.

I was in her wedding party way back in May of last year and crazy as it sounds, that’s the last time we saw each other. She doesn’t live across an ocean and we are both internet savvy and know how to pick up a phone. But life happened (for both of us) and we just never got in touch.

Now, I know that it sounds like maybe we’re not as great of friends as I say, but truly we are.

We often go for long bouts without seeing or talking to one another but, no matter what, when we sit down again to catch up, it’s like nothing has changed.

I think different friendships require different things. I have some friends who I regularly email and chat with online even though they may live on another continent, I have other friends that I see regularly in my every day life; we hang out often and get along well.

But with this friend, we have a special kind of friendship. She is a low-maintenance friend. There is no pressure to schedule phone dates or send lengthy updates. Neither of us are upset when a facebook message isn’t replied to immediately or a text message goes unanswered.

But, when we do get together, it’s like nothing has changed. We are still interested in each others lives, we still laugh over the same things and we still share the same interests.

Yes, we both wish that we could see and chat more often, but it’s nice to know that even if we get busy feelings won’t be hurt if we miss a call or forget to email for a month. It’s also nice to know that if something really important happened, we would both find the time to be there.

I think it’s important to have lots of ‘types’ of friends. It’s important to have a high-maintenance friend who makes you work for the friendship. That friend who expects a 3 page email update on your life every other week and a phone call on Sundays. That friend is important because you know that they are working just as hard for you.

It’s important to have the everyday friend. The person you can call on a Wednesday night to bring over ice cream and watch America’s Next Top Model with you.

It’s also important to have those low-maintenance friends. Friends that may not require a lot of work but who will always be there if you need them and will provide a nice little blip of excitement in your week when they unexpectedly stop by for a coffee.

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4 Responses to “Low-maintenance friends”


  1. 1 Erin March 25, 2010 at 9:36 pm

    Low maintenance friends are my fave, I find high maintenance friends draining.

  2. 2 ria March 25, 2010 at 9:43 am

    friends like that are awesome. it’s so great that there are people you can not see for talk to for ages and still relate after time goes by.

  3. 3 Erika March 24, 2010 at 10:10 am

    I have a friend just like that. And I was in her wedding party last June, and we have hardly talked since. We were best friends in College, saw each other every day, worked on every project together, but none we hardly talk, and it doesn’t seem to bug us. When we do we’re okay with it, and it’s like nothing has changed like you said.

    I can’t handle high maintenance friends.

  4. 4 Amy --- Just A Titch March 24, 2010 at 12:28 am

    Personally, I can only really handle low-maintenance friends. I know that sounds awful, but honestly…life is busy, it’s not a personal affront when I’m BUSY and I tend to prefer people with a lot going on. I think those friendships are really special.


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